tomtate: The ramblings of my brain...and some pictures!

Sorry haven’t written for a week! Here’s a long-ish one to make up for it…!

It’s been a funny week since I moved into these houses. I think what I’m finding difficult right now is finding a balance between this new world I find myself living in both physically and mentally, and the world I used to inhabit. I’m coming to realise that maybe I’m not going to be able to do everything that I want to, or used to do, because, as of now, I’m in full time job & ministry here! I understand that this might sound a bit childish, but be assured, I’m not whining about the fact that I don’t get to go out to the cinema every night! It’s just that lifestyle changes usually happen gradually, or one at a time, whereas in this case I’ve found myself with a new job, a new place to live and a new community of people to get to know around me in one go. Don’t worry, it’s going well, it can just be a bit difficult adjusting at times.

One thing that I’m finding difficult coming to an understanding of at the minute is the atmosphere I’m living in. For the last 22 years of my life, I’ve lived in Belfast, and yet, it only really struck me the other day that this truly is a divided city.

There’s something about living in a situation where you’re faced with the reality of this everyday that really opens your eyes. It’s no longer something you can ignore or put away at the back of your mind, because, every morning you have to wake up to the sun rising over the peace wall out your front window, and every journey planned has to start with the question of “what time is it?” to check if you’ll be able to go a certain way, owing to the closing of the peace wall gates.

This is the road I walk on every morning on the way to the office.

Please know that I’m not making a judgement on anyone reading this who hasn’t come to this conclusion, after all, until only a month ago, I was living in the same understanding. But, this blog is for you guys to get a snapshot of what’s going on in my head, and, currently, this is what’s going round there!

I’m not sure what to do with this new information, or realisation of our city’s situation, but I don’t think it’s something to be afraid of. Obviously, the ministry of YWAM here in Belfast is one of reconciliation, and of bridging the gap between the two communities that exist here in our city. I’m not sure what my understanding of this was before starting with YWAM. I obviously knew that there was conflict and division, but exactly what this means is only just setting in. The reality of this is beginning to make sense to me, and it’s something that brings me to mourning for this city, for the people who live here. Not only the people who are my neighbours over here, for in a way, they live in the reality of the situation; but I also mourn for my neighbours back home across the city, and for the general population of this city living in the assurance that “everything’s grand” and “there’s only problems in a few areas”. Because, the thing is, even if the division is only physical in a few areas of the city, the fact remains that in so many other areas the physical barriers are very often replaced by emotional or spiritual barriers in places that are often seen from the outside as “mixed” or “integrated”.

I’m not sectarian, and I would never claim to be in any way. But in my time here on staff in YWAM Belfast, I’m realising that I am a product of my country, and all the baggage that goes along with that. This is just going to be a journey of figuring out what that means, and trying to reconcile what I realise to who I am and discovering how that affects my ministry here.

On a much lighter note…. I found out the other day that I am going to be heading away on the 21st October to Amsterdam in Holland for a 4-day conference with other YWAM bases from Western Europe. This is a really exciting prospect for me, not only for the chance to go and learn about how we, as we grow as a base, can make sure we stay outward looking (instead of focusing inwards on our own needs and desires) but also, it’s the chance for me to catch a bit of a bigger vision of YWAM worldwide. YWAM is a massive organisation, I once heard that it’s the biggest mission organisation in the world, and yet, my only view of YWAM is this tiny little community on the edge of Europe! YWAM Belfast is the only base I’ve ever really known, and so I’m excited to meet some other people from other bases in an attempt to catch a vision of what they, and through them, YWAM worldwide are up to!

I also had a great time last weekend with some good friends down in Bray, Co. Wicklow. I was there to celebrate the birthday of a friend of mine I met while I was in Bible College called Jane. We had a great weekend of exploring Bray, throwing stones on the beach and catching up. A few select pictures below…